Mastering the Art of Active Listening for Better Relationships

Why is active listening important?

Before we dive into the how, let's first understand why active listening is so crucial. When we actively listen, we show genuine interest in what the other person is saying. This not only makes them feel valued and understood, but it also allows us to gain a deeper understanding of their thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. By actively listening, we can avoid miscommunication, resolve conflicts, and foster stronger connections in both our personal and professional lives.

How does miscommunication affect our growth?

Miscommunication can have a profound impact on our personal and professional growth. When we fail to listen actively, we miss out on important information, feedback, and opportunities that could've presented themselves. In the workplace, miscommunication can lead to misunderstandings, decreased productivity, and strained relationships with colleagues. Personally, it can result in conflicts, unmet needs, and a lack of emotional connection with loved ones. There are other times when an important opportunity arises, even briefly, that passes us by due to our lack of active listening. Maybe our boss is offering valuable feedback, that could potentially set us apart from the rest of our colleagues, and we completely miss it because we are thinking of how to respond, rather than listening to what they are saying. 

No more wasted conversations! Let's talk about how we can improve our active listening with 5 key habits:

5 ways to practice active listening

1. Give your full attention: Put away distractions, maintain eye contact, and focus on the speaker. Show them that they have your undivided attention. Listen to what they say, and try to also think about what they mean or want. Most people can speak WHILE thinking about what they want most from the interaction. 

2. Avoid interrupting: Resist the urge to interject or finish the speaker's sentences. Let them express their thoughts fully before responding. Sometimes this is very difficult. Especially when you are speaking with someone who rambles on without letting you speak (we all know that someone). Let them finish their thoughts, because if you interrupt, it puts the other person into a mode of not listening in return. They feel cut off, so why would they listen to you?

3. Show empathy: Put yourself in the speaker's shoes and try to understand their emotions and perspective. Reflect their feelings back to them to show that you truly understand. Respond first, by validating their emotions, whether right or wrong. People connect over emotions whether we like it or not. Show them that what they feel is valid.

4. Ask open-ended questions: Encourage the speaker to elaborate by asking questions that require more than a simple "yes" or "no" answer. This shows that you are actively engaged in the conversation and that you want to understand, rather than respond. People love talking, especially about themselves. By giving them their time to shine, and asking questions, you show them that you care about them and their opinions. People will flock to you for your attention because they can feel your interest.

5. Try to postpone injecting your own opinions and experiences: Allow the person to feel that the conversation wasn't quickly changed from being focused on them. Allow the conversation to run its course for a bit before responding from your experiences and mindset. This also shows the other person that you weren't just waiting for them to finish so you could speak. 

6. Summarize and paraphrase: After the speaker has finished, summarize what you heard and ask if you understood correctly. Most people will either correct you where you may be incorrect or agree with your summary. This not only clarifies any misunderstandings but also demonstrates your commitment to truly understanding them. By doing this, you minimize confusion and misunderstandings, prevent arguments, and can better respond. The conversation is exponentially better when both parties understand each other. 

Be an active listener. 

The benefits of active listening

Practicing active listening can have a profound impact on your personal and professional life. Here are some of the key benefits:

• Improved relationships: Active listening builds trust, connection, and rapport with others, leading to stronger and more meaningful relationships. This is crucial when networking or interacting with loved ones, friends, employees, and even superiors.
• Effective problem-solving: By truly understanding the other person's perspective, you can find mutually beneficial solutions to problems and conflicts. You begin to work WITH each other, rather than in opposition.
• Enhanced communication: Active listening reduces misunderstandings and promotes clear and effective communication. You begin to understand each other and how to better communicate. This allows the conversation to move in the right direction, quickly. 
• Increased empathy: When we actively listen, we develop a deeper sense of empathy and understanding towards others, fostering a more compassionate and inclusive environment. This builds relationships faster and deeper. 
• Professional growth: Active listening allows us to learn from others, receive valuable feedback, and expand our knowledge and skills. It opens opportunities to improve and receive what others have to offer. 

"Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what’s behind the words" - Roy T. Bennett

                                                                                       

Take action now!

Start practicing active listening today and experience the positive impact it can have on your relationships and personal growth. Here are some action steps you can take:

• Set aside dedicated time each day to practice active listening with a loved one, colleague, or friend.
• Practice mindfulness to stay present and focused during conversations. Don't listen to respond. Listen to understand and listen more.
• Seek feedback from others on your listening skills and actively work on improving them. Take constructive criticism and meditate on it.
• Attend a workshop or read a book on active listening to deepen your understanding and skills. There are also resources online to help. (We hope to offer a course on this soon).
• Reflect on your conversations and identify areas where you can improve your listening habits. Think back to a conversation that may have ended in an argument, confusion, or misunderstanding. Think back on things that you may have missed because you weren't actively listening to the speaker. 

Remember, mastering the art of active listening takes time and practice. But the rewards are well worth it. By becoming a better listener, you can create stronger connections, foster understanding, and make a positive impact on the lives of those around you.